


Hiraeth - Leigh

by CelticCross



Series: Hiraeth [3]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:22:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28840074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticCross/pseuds/CelticCross
Summary: Leigh and Bucky discuss their future
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Hiraeth [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114094
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Hiraeth - Leigh

“Doll? You in here?” Bucky called out as he walked into the communal kitchen, “Oh hey Darce, you seen Leigh? I’ve been looking for her for the past hour but I can’t find her, she’s not answering her phone either.”

“Nope, not seen her since breakfast, oh hey, I hear you went to the old Barton home yesterday, how did that go?”

“That was…well let’s just say I’m glad my name isn’t Clint Barton, man, his ex wife reamed him a new asshole,” Bucky chuckled, turning to look out the window, watching as the last of the golden orange leaves fell from nearby trees, as Fall changed to Winter. Snow would be here soon he mused. 

Fall had been unusually mild in upstate New York, indeed the weather in Iowa the day before had been quite warm and he’d enjoyed being there. He’d been born in Shelbyville, Indiana, itself surrounded by agricultural fields and farmland, shortly before his family had moved to Brooklyn, moving in slap bang next door to a certain family Rogers, and he’d felt a kind of peace at the farmstead; of course there was too much Brooklyn in the boy for him ever to feel truly at peace in the countryside, but it had been nice. He’d enjoyed mucking around with Clint and his kids, playing soccer, throwing a baseball for the littlest one and watching as Clint helped his daughter with her archery. The only sore point had been Leigh. Something had happened and she’d been quiet, almost subdued on the flight back to the compound, before she’d kissed him and had turned in early. She’d been asleep when he’d gone to bed and gone when he’d woken.

Something was wrong, something had happened at the farm and he needed to find out what.

Darcy laughed, “Oh man, makes me wish I’d been there to see that, tell me, Bucky…was it glorious?” she cackled, leaning across the kitchen counter, cradling her cup of lukewarm coffee, her eyes mischievous.

Bucky moved closer to her, “He was like a kicked puppy…not that I like the idea of puppies being kicked but you get the idea…” he smirked as her grin grew.

“Aww man, Barnes, you get all the fun.” She laughed, standing up straight, “well, that just made my day, but I gotta get back to work, if I see Leigh I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.”

“Thanks Darce.” He smiled as she headed out back to her office.

Leigh looked out at the changing leaves, her eyes seeing nothing as she sat. Her mind was whirling madly. What if he? Could they? Should they? Did she want? They had never really spoken about it before, apart from in an abstract way when she’d gone through his test results with Helen Cho. The truth was that, right now, no one, not even Helen, with all her medical knowledge and expertise, could tell her if Bucky could, or should father children.

She sighed, remembering in the museum after she’d faked a pregnancy to distract from her gasp at seeing Nat in the distance, when he looked at her with such intensity, his eyes blazing with joy and hope and love at her words. What if the problem was that he wanted kids but couldn’t have them? How would that affect him? Her? Them…?

She’d never really thought about having kids of her own before. She was a S.H.I.E.L.D agent and a member of Delta Team. Having kids wasn’t really something she’d thought of in her future. Yes, Clint had kids but then he wasn’t the one who’d carried them for nine months before giving birth. He’d turned up for the beginning of the show and then ducked out until the encore. Having kids was such a major life changing event that she couldn’t even begin to imagine how much her life would change. She was the boss. The buck stopped with her. Could she juggle this job with having a child? 

And then there was the whole thing about living on the compound, it was an active S.H.I.E.L.D cadet base, full of trainee Agents with guns and knives, how safe would it be to raise a child here? Would Bucky want to? How did she feel about moving off base? She was the boss, she needed to be here 24/7 in case anything arose. Thankfully the world had quietened down a little since the whole Zemo debacle but who knew what was around the corner…argh…her brain just went round and round.

“Oh my god, Leigh, there you are, I’ve been looking for you all fucking day. You been up here since breakfast?,” She felt his hand on her jacket and looked up at him, her eyes troubled, “Leigh? Doll? What’s wrong?”

“Sit down Buck, please?” she motioned for him to join her on the edge of the roof, smiling thinly as he did.

“You ok doll? You’ve been a bit…well…off since we got back from Iowa. What’s wrong?”

She sighed, snuggling into him, feeling his arm wrapping around her.

“It was something Laura said to me.”

“What? Did she say something to hurt you doll? Do I have to go beat up a pregnant lady? cause I gotta tell ya, that ain’t happening.” He grinned down at her before pressing a soft kiss on her head.

“No…you daft thing, of course not, it’s just she…she asked me about us, and if we had any plans…for children. She didn’t know about you…”

“Oh, right, shit…doll, you had me worried, I thought I’d done something to piss you off and I couldn’t think what it was.” He let out a relieved breath.

“We’ve never really talked about the future though, have we?,” she snorted softly, “been too fucking busy putting out fires and saving the world.” She sighed.

“No I guess we haven’t. Never imagined I’d have a future to really talk about, you know? I shipped off to Europe in ’43 and fell off a fucking train in ’44, not really time to think about the whole wife and kids thing,” he grinned down at her, noticing her worried, confused eyes, “hey doll, doesn’t mean I don’t have time now to imagine,” He smiled, bending down to kiss her, “but can we get off this roof? it’s fucking freezing…” he laughed, pulling her up into a hug.

“Whatever we decide, we’ve got time.” He whispered, feeling a strange desire uncoil deep in his belly.

Leigh woke up startled, something heavy was pressing on her. She looked down at her body, as early morning light streamed through a gap in the curtains, to find Bucky’s metal arm laying over her, his hand curled possessively across her belly. She looked across at him. He was fast asleep, long eyelashes dark against his cheeks, a small smile on his handsome face, and her heart constricted. She watched him sleeping, her mind beginning to whirl with possibilities and dead ends. Sighing softly she closed her eyes and slipped back into a light, troubled sleep.

Bucky woke, something had caught his subconscious’ attention and dragged him from his sleep, he blinked in the dim light, smiling as he looked at Leigh sleeping, watching as a light frown crossed her features. He yawned softly, his eyes drooping. There was something there, trying to catch his attention but he couldn’t think what. He went to move his arm and froze, following the dark line of metal down until he saw his hand curled around her belly.

“Buck?” she said softly, watching him looking at his hand.

“I..” he began, lifting off her to roll onto his back, blowing out a deep breath, before turning back to look at her.

“I guess I never really asked you either,” he whispered, “if you wanted kids…” he looked at her sleepy eyes.

Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she yawned and turned to face him.

“I’ll put the coffee on,” she smiled, as she slipped out of bed and grabbed her dressing gown.

“Guess we’re having the talk then…” Bucky said to himself before getting out of bed.

They sat sipping the dark, bitter brew, silence surrounding them.

Leigh put her mug down and looked at him, “You’d think this would be easy but fuck…it’s easier to throw a fucking knife into a Hydra goon, it’s a simple enough question so why is it so hard to answer?” she breathed heavily.

“Hydra goons don’t take up the next 18 years of your life.” Bucky smiled, a small laugh escaping.

“And the rest…,” she grinned back at him, “It’s not something I ever thought about, you know? Same as you, I was, well still am in a way, a S.H.I.E.L.D agent and that life comes with so much danger but it’s all I know. It was fine when I was with Clint, we, Nat and I, we had kids through him; Lila, Cooper and then Nate and we could love them, take care of them and play with them, knowing we could step back into the shadows and they’d be safe, with Laura, but this? Having one of my own? I…I just don’t know; is the answer, I guess.” She finished, looking at him.

Bucky sat looking at her, his heart heavy; something had uncoiled within him since she’d mentioned having kids and now it was all he could think about.

“Would you think about it though?” he whispered, his longing deep within his blue eyes.

“Buck?...James, what are you saying?” she asked, already knowing his answer.

“I…oh god, doll, ever since you mentioned kids it’s all I can fucking think about; seeing you grow big and round, keeping our child warm until we can hold him in our arms; to have a son, or daughter with our faces…,” he blew out a deep breath as she looked at him her eyes wide, “Fuck…guess I never realised how much I want a child…before you. Never thought I could have a child…before you.” He shrugged, wrapping his hand around his mug as they sat in the quiet, the early morning light seeping through the curtains.

“Wow…,” she breathed a shaky breath at his heartfelt admission, seeing the look of utter longing and hope across his still sleepy face, his eyes crinkling as he smiled at her, “I guess we need some answers from Helen Cho before take this any further, don’t you think?” she smiled.

“W..what?” he looked at her, shock and hope warring.

“We need to know whether you can father a child before…”

“Do you mean it doll? You’ll have my child?” he whispered, his voice heavy with anticipation and longing.

“Yes Bucky, if we can…” she finished, a small smile on her face.

“Fuck…doll, Leigh I…” he began, tears welling, “I never…never thought this would happen to me, you have no idea what this means to me doll, I…” he stopped overwhelmed as his tears fell.

Leigh rushed to hold him against her, cradling his head against her stomach as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Morning Darce, and how are you this fine morning.” Leigh smiled as she stepped into her friends office. She’d managed to get her out of the cramped one, which was now occupied by Darcy’s intern, and into the bigger one.

“Ok, who are you and what have you done with my friend?”

Leigh chuckled as she sat down.

“No, seriously, the Leigh I know has a frown on her face most of the time and looks fucking miserable the rest of the time, she does not march into my office throwing pleasantries about so, what gives?”

“Darcy…,” Leigh sniggered at her friends accurate, if slightly disturbing description, “I’m just in a good mood, is that ok?”

“What? D’ya get some this morning then?”

“Oh Darce…I get some every morning,” Leigh winked, smirking, “ am I not allowed to be in a good mood?”

“It makes me itch…”

“You’ve been talking to Clint about Budapest haven’t you?”

“I might have done, I’m still in shock that he’s not dead.”

“Me too, and that one wasn’t even the worst, seriously, why he’s not dead ten times over I have no idea.”

“Still haven’t told me why you’re so fucking chipper this morning.”

“Bucky and I had a long talk this morning, and…we’ve decided, that if he’s able to, you know, what with the Winter Soldier programming, that we…are going to try for a baby.”

Darcy stared at her friend in shock.

“Sorry, can you say that again? I’m not sure I heard you right? You…the scary boss of this place, and Bucky…the once most feared assassin in the entire fucking world want to combine your DNA?,” she huffed, “You know, this is how Jurassic Park started…shit…mini Winter Soldiers all over the place, you don’t pay me enough for this…”

“Darce…we don’t even know if he can…yet.,” she sighed, as Darcy looked at her, concern in her eyes, “So it might all be a moot point…”

“But you want to? Have a child together?”

“At first, I was so fucking caught off guard. Laura asked me if Buck and I had ‘any plans’ and I nearly fell off the bench, and then I talked to him and he…he never thought he’d ever have the chance...oh Darce, you should have seen his face when I said yes, he cried,” she smiled, softly, “ and so yes, to answer your question, yes, I want to give Bucky a child more than anything.”

“Then I’m happy for you, but I’m not babysitting no Velocisoldiers.” She smirked.


End file.
